In God's Country

Driving cross- country was an amazing experience. Our last day in NYC was very sad as we had to put our dog to sleep. After much agonizing, we had decided that it was in everyone's best interest for him to be put down. With most of our things (but not all by far) in the truck, we set off to a very nice vet in Long Beach-- where we lived for one glorious year. The last I saw of Buddha, he was wagging his tail, walking down the white corridor with a pretty, young, tech.

So as not to wallow in the sadness of his absense, we took off that afternoon. Our first stop was a cabin in Pennsylvania where our friend Ray's mom made us amazing home- cooked Italian food. I've never had homemade eggplant parmisan. The next day we hit the road and drove 750 miles to about Nashville. Tennessee was beautiful. I've always missed the plants and grasses of California during my time in New York, but I cold see myself falling in love with Tennessee.

Arkansas wasn't bad either, but the weather got a little scary. BitterNewYorker was a weatheman in the service and he was showing me how thunderheads form. We drove under some pretty scary skies.(I'm gonna try to post those pictures.) We also passed a nuclear power plant and tons of soybean fields that are pretty strange nad marshy looking. I think we nominated Arkansas best smelling state.

Texas was quick and I didn't get to see a tumbling tumble weed.

New Mexico had lots of amazing mesas and rock formations as did Arizona. Both had so many little towns i nthe middle of nowhere. I wonder how people can get all of the basics out there. I guess lots of trucks pass through, but seems like life out there in those towns would be pretty expensive these days. We also got to drive through a lightening storm on a really flat stretch of land so that we could see all the lightening as well as the separate little thunderhead clusters causing all sorts of bad weather.

We did have some time to enjoy the scenery, but mostly we saw truckstops. Our huge truck hada slow leak. Kinda freaked me out- on the one hand, a flat tire is not good to drive on and on the other hand, I wasalways afraid that BNY would blow up the tire while filling it. I'm actually no longer afraid of tires -- it's really hard to get the right PSI for a big truck unless you have the proper type of compressor. So its like pushing cooked spaghetti to fill a tire with a crappy compressor.

Octopus

I've always wanted to paint. I am hoping to make it my new faveorite passtime. I stayed in after my lunch guests today because I got a nasty steam burn from my tea pot -- another day of not doing my errands. I was bored, lonely and out of money, no shopping. So I painted. It's pretty bad, but I'd put it up on my fridge like a proud mom. I painted an octopus.

I have very fond memories of playing with the stingrays at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I love (to eat) those gelatinious sea creatures. The octopus has been on my mind for some time. My painted octo was orange even though the ones I eat all seem to be purple.

Read a great article in Sunset about families living on farms just south of the Bay Area. When BNY and I were driving cross- contry, we were talking about possible future plans and a farm is high on the list. I'd love to run an agriculture school teaching organic, biodynamic agriculture to young adults, focusing on urban youth. We'd have a working farm and an intensive, back breaking cirriculum that would be a true exploration of the work and the benefits of farming. Those who successfully completed the program would be eligible for a land scholarship -- we'd help them set up a farm and provide expert support. They'd farm and pay us back with a low interest loan and/or by hosting other students and participating in agricultural studies and community out reach. My foundation would buy trucks to form CSA's and make deliveries to inner city residents who usually have very limited access to fresh veggies and prime meats.

I once got into a huge fight with a very sheltered young (white) woman who swore that there was a CSA and/or access to organic produce in my East Williamsburg neighborhood. There is one crappy grocery store and a million delis selling non-perishables. One deli sold organic but at prices even I couldn't afford (my income far surpassed those living in the projects adjacent to my apartment). She was so sure that everyone had access to these luxuries. Oh wait-- it wasn't a CSA, it was a food co-op she swore up and down existed out there. Even with my priveledged status of having a college education and no kids, on my work schedule there was no extra time to work at a food co-op. She bet me $500 that there was a co-op within waking distance. One is lucky to get good apples in that neighborhood but she insisted that these things must be avaliable and that people were interested in devoting time and money to eat the fresh, organic fruits.

She had obviously never been to my neighboorhood nor any one like it. I was not nice to her after that. I called her a priveledged, sheltered something or other. Called her out on her ignorance (who the hell did I think I was? but I knew I was right). Then I felt bad. We shared an ice cream dessert.

I wanted to copy this article for her and pass it along via her friend, my coworker.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1813984,00.html

some other great sites for food news:
http://www.ethicurean.com/contact/ -- remember the video of downed cattle passing inspection-- saw it here

http://www.iatp.org/ -- information about agricultural policy as well as many food safety guides (i.e. what to eat, what to avoid an why)

http://www.culinate.com/home -- the slogan "Eat your ideal" says it all


that's a good start.

the Dude Abides

I'm enjoying my dwindling days of semi-employment. Even though I have 5 days per week free from obligations, I just can't manage to get everything done. Because I am addicted to the internet where I find things like this http://www.flat33.com/bzzzpeek/html/bzzzpeek.html

BitterNY is back from his first day of training at the new job. Nothing like a New York, high intensity turn and burn under my withering gaze of micro management. The people are cool and laid back and he is going to enjoy it there. Phew. We really needed him to land a job and I would hate for him to be suck in a shitty one cause we are in a crunch. I feel better. I can continue to do nothing with a clear conscience.

I have sent out a mass mailing letting my loved ones know about this blog and have recieved some very interesting comments and info in return. One friend, who has quickly become a trusted advisor after having carried his acerbic wit through an uber successful 1L year and straight on to law review, said that he read somewhere that all law students should have blogs. Really? I thought this would be a future employment liability. Good to know.

The other bit of info is from someone I won't be hearing from very often. My buddy Vespa (real name) has started a micro production company. Acting, writing, shooting and cutting shorts over a weekend. He's got a great female partner (I'll take his word for it, he's got good taste). Me-the ex-film student, dreamer- I was jealous. But I consoled myslef by thinking how many of projects I will be able to fund after school and with a few years of lawyer salary in my bank account.

Coming here to L.A. to go to law school has just reinforced in my mind my desire to be an artist, but widened the lifestyle possibilities. My personal fairytail story is one in which I am forging a new path, leaving the world of waitressing/bartending and fiding a new way to be an artist. Perhaps I will produce and go into entertainment law. Perhaps I will do M&A and have money to fund all sorts of projects. This blog is project #1. So how's it going?

Here are all the little tid bits that I have been writing since I started getting into law schools and this whole adventure started to become very real. Didn't bother to post cause I wasn't sure I'd go through with it.


In at Cali school with a phone call—one from dean and one from a student group member. Got the student message first and rushed to call the dean back. Called from restaurant bathroom and totally ignored my tables to talk to the dean. Hid on the floor by the coffee station to talk to student who sounds super nice
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In at UT Austin Texas with full tuition and fees – amazing. Possibly a stipend for living. Not sure what I did right, but I’ll take it.
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Haven’t gotten a rejection yet but 2 WLs. Called Arizona to decline the very special scholarship that they offered me. Ended up talking to the Dean for a good half hour. She remembered me right off the bat – I was wondering if she had caller id! She said she was really moved by my statement and hoped that I continued in film and generally kept up the fight against racism. I was shocked and honored to be receiving encouragement and advice from her. She knows people at all three of my top contender schools and had a very strong opinion of what school I should choose if I would not attend hers.

Working like crazy at job and little BIG money drains keep popping up. I am crabby and prone to arguing with BitterNewYorker. Not a good spot. Thank goodness I like my job and can stand to be there for 15 hours a day. Unlike my last gig at a huge, god awful restaurant, I really like my new job in a small restaurant where people care about what they eat, the chef is reasonable, foreigners don’t pretend they don’t know how to tip, no one cares if there is a Yankee or a movie star in the room and that damn place has not been featured on Sex in the City.

We had a French family come in for lunch the other day. Pappa was on the phone so daughter brought over the credit card to pay. Mama signed and left no tip, neglecting to fill in even the total. I kindly mentioned that service is not included and received 10% for my efforts. Another table within earshot asked a co-worker if they had tipped. She nodded negatively and they we shocked. “We’re from Denmark,” they said, “ and we know how to tip.” They proceeded to leave us an extra 10$ to make up for the less than savvy Frenchies. If the meal is half price to you, what’ s the big deal with following our custom and leaving a decent tip? Especially if I have to explain the entire menu to and make suggestions that you then take and enjoy. Huh??? I have to stop here. I’m getting angry.
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ASW at Cali school. I loved meeting all of the people who might be my classmates. The BLSA members were awesome as well. I felt like they were my big brothers and sisters (even though I am older than most of them) and I no longer fear law school. If I do attend Cali school, I will have more than enough shoulders to cry on, outlines and practice tests to study and sunshine to bask in. What really impressed me about the school was the amount of different areas of study—the institutes, the clinics and specializations. I look at the catalogs from other schools and I see nothing that I can really make my own. There are even opportunities (very small) to participate in clinics or journals during the first year. I can just imagine hating property, torts and civ pro and then going to work at the juvenile justice clinic and accomplishing just enough to push me through the misery.

(I’m probably gonna be laughing at this little miss sunshine post this time next year, but I’ve got to be positive now- while I still can!)
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At the ASW, I was told again and again to ask for more money from Cali school and use my other offers as a bargaining tool. I did. I think I may have pissed off my biggest advocate.

I didn’t talk specific numbers with people, so I have no idea what their offers were and what they ended up getting. There may be more money available for me after the deposit deadline, but by then, they know they’ve got me. Not sure how to play this game. I have a housing guarantee from Cali school now, but nowhere near enough money on the table to make me confident and comfortable with the amount of loans I will have to take out. All in all, it is a good offer and I will try to swing it money wise. I only applied to school in cities where BitterNewYorker would want to live, so at this point, the decision is mine.
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High off of the admitted(ly) Diverse Student Welcome weekend, I am finally buckling down and taking a look at my (grim) finances. I am working like crazy, trying to plan a very small budget wedding in Napa (it will happen!) and now, finally trying to figure out how I am going to get the cash to wed and move us across country. Thus far, with an offer of full tuition and fees in my back pocket, I have not been worrying too much about loans and such.

OOPS!

I initially found it problematic that the fed had to bail out the arrogant risk takers who caused the mortgage implosion. Why rescue them when they caused this mess? Why not focus on those losing their homes? So naive -- this is why I am gonna take a lot of econ and business type classes when I can.

I called Bank of America today to find out about taking out a personal loan for the moving and expenses I most likely won’t be able to cover on my own at the beginning of school while BitterNewYorker looks for a job. They stopped giving those out today. TODAY. They are now focusing only on government backed loans.

Total Higher Education, a non for profit – all applications temporarily suspended.

I really wish I hadn’t turned down Arizona (2 full tuition offers just make me feel better than one). Holy cow Batman!!

April 21, 2008
I have a very good friend from college who lives in Berlin. She is currently experiencing personal problems and I rarely hear from her. I started watching In Treatment, but found it a bit too much to take, too much ego and huffing and puffing. But I cannot stop watching it. One of the characters reminds me of my friend in Berlin. The woman’s mouth moves in such a similar way that I cannot let it go.

Got a wonderful letter from Stanford today telling me that I am on their waitlist. This is awesome. Even if I end up moving to LA, if I get accepted, BNY & I can just go and crash with my mom until we find an apt. Stanford has been my dream school since I was in high school. A good friend of mine, 2 years ahead of me, went there as a CS undergrad. The campus is magical, all shaded and contained in loops of oak and eucalyptus. They had a vegan dorm. Student were serious but not snobby. The granola-hugging nerd inside of me is jumping for joy.

The insecure worry-wort part of me is trembling, wondering what will happen when I show up knowing no one and if they find out I am a WL admit. I haven’t really taken a good look at their course offerings, clinics and externships. What kind of groups are there for me to join? BLSA is a given anywhere, but perhaps they have a students for agriculture reform?

And the more I read ( good bless blogs) the more I realize that size does matter ( I’ve been too polite to admit it). Higher rankings mean more opportunities (to pay off debt).

I’m getting ahead of myself here. It’just a waitlist. All this worrying could be for naught. But after attending NYU as an undergrad, I really feel like I am more of a Stanford type than an NYU type. Just a feeling. Wish I could have made that decision on my own though!

I guess that only thing I can think of that is worse than the first year of law school would have to be ninja school. And that’s cause they are fighting for their lives with words rather than Examsoft.


7-8-08
Not even one week in the great city of Los Angeles and I am ready to ask for mercy. Thank goodness I live right be a Vons and a CVS. I have left so many things in New York or I have suddenly found the need for so many things I never had in New York that I am at the stores 2 or 3 times a day. My one saving grace is the store card. Each time I go to Von’s and give them my mothers phone number(that’s how they record the cards) , I save about 10 dollars. All those savings add up when I am spending over 100$/day. Sheesh! But I really do need a can opener, extra virgin olive oil, 57 hangars, bleach, Murphy’s oil soap, frozen peas and lentils. And an actual telephone for my hard line.

I am half an inch away from leasing a car. BNY has his set of motored, gas efficient wheels. I thought I was so cool, or at least being hip to my carbon footprint, coming out here with nothing more than a bicycle to transport myself. What hubris!!! UCLA is up a big freaking hill. A monster, shift–all-the-way-down hill. The law school is at the far, high-altitude end of the campus. I’m going to try to ride up that hill to the school every day for the next 6 weeks and pray that somewhere in there it gets easy. Cause right now, it is not easy!

For all the fus that Cali is making about greening itself and lowering emissions, I thought it would be easier to get around on a bike or motorcycle. There are very few bicycle parking spaces around my local stores. I end up locking my bike to a handicapped sigen and that makes me feel bad. Twice already, BNY and I have had to go the long way around a light that would not go green for us on the motorcycle, even though there seemed to be sensors. Guess our light weight, fuel efficient vehicle does not trip them. Never had this problem in New York. I’ve been away from Cali for 11 very important formative years and even though I always considered myself a California Girl, I think I may have been deluding myself -- I like walking and nobody walks in L.A.
7-9-08
This one’s for you Bill!
I made jambalaya tonight. Or a one pot, one package meal that incorporated the left over organic sausage (is that possible?) and frozen shrimp I had into a yummy pot of caramelized onions and an ever increasing amount of fresh tomatoes to try and quell the spice for my husband. (Didn’t work. The rice mix we picked up on our mini honeymoon in New Orleans was spicy – not in an overt way, but jut enough to keep our lips tingling).

Already, I miss the big cook offs with my friend Bill, an accomplished loafer, video game enthusiast and budding culinary genius. Unfortunately he hails from hearty East Coast Christian stock and has not been able to attend any of the Christmas feasts that Chris and I have staged. (See photos below) He had somewhere else to be. Every new recipe I try I want him to taste and confirm that I am evolving as a cook.

Bill, I heard a rumor that you want to go to culinary school. I think that’s wonderful. I would love to have you as a chef- partner in a restaurant in Anytown USA (located near a large body of water). This is my dream!!!! I’d tell you myself, but I know how you hate to talk about serious things and be pressured into making decisions and giving answers. The offer stands a long as I am able to command a 6 figure salary post law school.

Our Time in Eden

I really do hate the 10,000 Maniacs, I think it had something to do with Natalie Merchant’s proximity to Michael Stipe and rumored romance. So I am listening to this great album and wondering why I let it get away from me for so long. My husband asked me why I don’t like it – “Some guy you liked liked some girl who liked it?” Almost hit the nail on the head. All that while smoking peeps on a Rainbow Six multiplayer game. Gotta give the man credit. He’s been there done that. Back to the music and goldrush days.


7/15/08

A Room of one’s Own

I finally have a futon in my room, ny office. BNY and I have been living in this large (by NYC standards) apartment with one couch and no chairs. We have had to share the couch so I have been watching an inordinate amount of sports (an actually enjoying it, though I will never admit it. Truly, I prefer Weeds.)

Though not as comfortable as the couch (a.k.a. the most expensive piece of furniture I will own in a very very long time!!) it is mine and I do not have to share it with my shooting aliens or whatever husband. I can happily sustain the same position, save small hand movements to and fro my drink and mouth, for hours. It means I now can have my relative quiet.

Walking in L.A.

I truly thought that me an Bitter New Yorker would be able to get by out here in L.A. with no car. I've been biking every day to get into shape and everything we need is pretty close. But today, the first day of training for BNY at his new job, his motorcycle broke down. At least today was the coolest day so far this week. Any way you slice it, pushing a motorcycle in the heat sucks.
And I couldn't do a thing to help. He will miss his first day of training and this is not a good way to start a new job. If only I had a car, I could have driven over and picked him up or picked up some gas (think it is a fuel line problem with the reserve tank). But me and my bicycle are of little use to someone stranded more than 2 miles away.
I really wanted to hold out until January on the car and I don't think we have the money for a lease (I could always have silk flowers at the wedding and use that, we are not destitute. I don't have a fancy dress, but I want my flowers!)
It's true what they say, nobody walks in L.A. (unless they have to).