Recently Diagnosed Illness

I finally got a diagnosis for my disease, the one that was keeping my down this election cycle -- the NO disease. Right after the election was called last night, one channel (CNN, maybe MSNBC) showed an interview with the First Lady - Elect. She was saying that despite the fact Barak was trailing Hillary, black people would wake up and things would turn around for him. The reason they (we) were throwing our support behind Hillary was our suffering from an acute form of the NO disease. Everyone tells us no we can't, even those who love us for fear that we will get/be hurt, Michelle said. I'd say it's a question of fear, but , personally, it was far too passive of a state -- fear is alive. I was resigned to NO. I am still afraid that Obama will not live to be inaugurated (did I jinx him by buying tickets to DC?). I am still afraid that the white people who I saw on YouTube calling Obama a terrorist will decide that they can't take it and start lynching folks again -- well, maybe not quite that, but the everyday indignities that neighbors can heap upon each other can be enough to send one over the edge, too much.

I didn't really think that it would happen. When BitterNY suggested that we go to the inaguration, I realized that I have been numb to this whole experience. It is amazing that a left handed black man will be the 44th president of the United States. But it is sad that it is amazing. And I am dumb to tell anyone how truly sad it makes me. Sad because in 2008 this is what we have. It was only in 1967 that the Supreme Court struck down anti- miscegenation laws. (Thanks Prop 8 for giving us something to fight for cause we were all getting too cuddly and feel good and isn't the world freaking great now that we are all enlightened, have embraced the truth of global warming, support third world micro lending and occasionally recycle.)

So today, maybe I am a little angry. I don't understand why some people were crying today at school. Great, we have a Black President. But here, in my lovely --- bubble, I know that there is a professor who thinks that I do not belong at this school because I am Black. I'm not going to be ready to jump p and down until more Black people than not have a fighting chance. Till 1/ 2 of the prison population is on the way to productive citizenship. Till they stop trying to poison us will high fructose corn syrup. Till they stop brain washing us to consume bling. Till they take away Black history month and breast cancer month. Till we think and talk about the things that matter every day. Till they start an affirmative action program for wealth to right all of the no loan redlining , and drive you off your land history of this great nation. This goes deeper than just having a Black man in the White House. That is a superficial change.

We have just changed the color. And, anyone who has been living the struggle knows, color is only skin deep.