The lost posts I

I haven't been able to write about my pregnancy because BitterNY didn't want to tell anyone until 3 months. As I am writing this, I am 10 weeks. It has been a difficult first 2 months. I am just beginning to feel like a human being again. I was so so tired and at the same time overwhelmed by the depth of my hunger and the nausea that followed every meal. I was moping around the house in sweats, constanly sleeping. I would sleep 8 hours and wake up and have to go back ot sleep for another 2. I missed classes. I didn't go out or see anybody. Now that I am coming out on the other side of the tunnel, I see how crappy that was.

So I want to talk about being pregnant in law school. Honsetly, I am SO glad that I am doing this now. I plan to have an demanding career in law -- probably corporate, hopefully centering on environmental issues like the cap and trade that seems imminent. I cannot imagine how women do this in the real world working 60 + hours a week. I avoided campus on Sundays because the bus didn't stop at the law school and I had to walk 10 minutes up hill to the law school. I always showered (except for that one day over Thanksgiving break when I didn't leave the house), but often I didn't want to -- I wanted ot go back to bed and live in sweats. I hate sweats. I don't even wear them at the gym (track pants) and even when I am walking across the courtyard to do laundry, I put on pants. Not so much any more. With the amount of baggy clothes that I wear, you might think that I am fat already. I just feel that way.

I am still in normal clothes, but they are pretty tight. Granted, my pants have always been pretty tight, I have a big butt (not that I am complaining!) and I've always had more thigh than many women have leg. But my pants are tight at the waist now too. I don't have a scale (yet), but I'm sure that I have gained weight since my wedding (god I looked great in that dress). I have a bit of a hard time with some shirts and sweaters because I have so much boob. So much it's ridiculous. People pay money to be like this forever? That's why I'll never understand LA.

I've pretty much told all of my friends amd classmates. They are all really excited for me. Now I wonder about the baby shower -- there are so many people I have to invite. How will I afford to feed them?

But back to doing this in law school. Best idea ever. The fact that I have so much free time is the number one bonus. Since I never go out, I have time to study and sleep as much as I want. That is so important. I feel like I would be risking my job if I performed under the circumstances of the last few weeks. I just couldn't do it. Maybe I'm spoiled, but this is hard work!