Law school is a definite new beginning for me. I've had many of the same friends for the last 10 years, but most have not lived in my immediate vicinity (except Meera -- she never left me and now I have left her). There are people in my life that I can talk to and say anything. almost, even, the things that I am afraid to say to myself. I find that noting my short comings is easier when I am sharing them with someone who has known me since I thought Woody Allen was irrelevant. The older I get, the more I realize that this whole game is dependent upon these permanent people.
There is a definite minimum number of people whom I need in my life to keep being me as I know me. Every 4 or 5 years, that number increases by one.
I feel like I get to start all over and do the whole college thing again -- meeting people, forming alliances, really getting to know them (in time) and being the best me that I can be.
Really its all about the opportunity to be the best me. I have no one to answer to but me. No deadlines other than the impartial ones imposed by school. I have no boss, no one breathing down my neck, trying to caress it or telling me how to improve it. But me.
And the chorus of friends. We don't let each other get away with anything cause we know better.
And these are the people in my neighborhood. These are the people I love. I feel old when I think about the people I love. Not a small list. Took time to cultivate.
Think it's the wedding talking. I'm sappy as all hell. Can't help it. Big stuff. Big shit. You try getting married and maintaining your normal NYC scowl.
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